Where Has My Baby Gone?

I got an email this morning from Baby Center {as I do every month} asking me this question.  My little girl is 16 months today.  She is walking, talking, running, and very aware of the world around her. Very different from how she was 16 months ago. It amazes me how quickly time has passed since she was born.

It seems like just yesterday we were taking her home from the hospital and I could hold her in my arms all day and night.  Now, I am lucky to get to hold her for five minutes before she wiggles her way from me.  

Harlan and I sat watching videos of her this morning from when she was younger.  We watched as she jumped around in her bouncer and babbled words that were unrecognizable.  It made me miss those moments that I had with her and learn to cherish the ones that I have with her now and in the future.

She is growing before my eyes and it's not until I stop and take a moment to look back, that I can really see how much she has grown.  Being with her every moment of everyday doesn't really let me see how much she grows from month to month.  

Although her growth may not be apparent to me everyday, what is apparent is the amazing person she is becoming.  

She may not be a baby anymore, but she will always be my little girl.

My little chatter box

On Tuesday I took Harlan for her 15 month check up.  I was so curious to see how much she has grown since our 12 month visit.  I was convinced that she had gained at least 3 pounds because she is really getting heavy when I hold her.  I was shocked to know that she only gained a little over a pound (which still puts her below the 5th percentile) and even more shocked to see that she grew over 2 inches and jumped from the 20th to 50th percentile in height.

During the exam they ask all of the routine questions to see if she is making her developmental goals. Does she walk on her own, say mama and dada correctly, drink milk, etc.  One of the questions that made me chuckle a little was if she had more than three words in her vocabulary.  It scares me sometimes at how much Harlan talks.  This is a girl who's first word was "poop" (heard by her teachers at daycare in Tampa.)  Not a very traditional first word, but I'll take it. 

In the past month she has started to copy everything I say.  I tell the dogs to move, she has caught on and now when they get in her way she tells them to move too.  I am starting to learn to bite my tongue a little so that I don't teach her any negative or bad words.  Her new favorite word is no.  The other night my sister was over and Harlan was climbing on the furniture and my sister looked at her and pointed her finger saying "no no no."  Instead of getting down like she was supposed to, she turned to my sister with her finger pointed and said, "no no no."  My sister, MacKay and I looked at each other and just started laughing. How can you get mad at something that cute? 

She has started to really take on the word and tells the dogs no all the time, she tells me no when she doesn't want to eat her dinner, and will even tell me no I am watching my show on TV instead of hers. 

Her latest accomplishment that I am proud of is that she has learned to say please and thank you.  I've been trying to teach her for a while and she has fully taken it on and is using it correctly and frequently. 

All this chatter coming from her makes me nervous as to what's in store when she is older and can actually carry on a conversation.  My sister and I were in Bloomingdales the other day and saw a little girl with her mom playing pretend.  The little girl kept telling her mom to participate and would tell her everything she had to say in the process.  They mother looked less than thrilled at having to say every little thing her daughter wanted her to.  I looked at my sister laughing and said, "That is going to be me and Harlan someday." 

But for now I am cherishing these little moments watching her grow into a talkative young lady who is full of laughs and energy.

A Day for Myself

Earlier this week MacKay mentioned to me that he wanted to take Harlan with him Christmas shopping this weekend.  This not might come as a shock to anyone, but it was a major shock to me. You see, MacKay gets very nervous when he has to be alone around Harlan for extended periods of time.  This is not something I fault him for.  He was away from her for the first nine months of her life and now that we all live together he is at work during the week.  So you can imagine what a HUGE step this was for him to take on this be undertaking.  

Throughout the week I kept waiting for him to tell me that he didn't want to take her {I know, I shouldn't doubt him.}  But instead of backing out he kept telling me how excited he was to take her to explore the city with Harlan and have a daddy daughter day. 

This morning he might have started having second thoughts though as I told him everything I had packed for her and what to do in case she has a meltdown. I also went through how to maneuver the Bugaboo in case he wanted to have her face him or lean the seat back {those things would probably scare most men away.}  He listened intensely, hanging on to my every word, and before I knew it they were out the door and on their way!

Daddy and Harlan ready for their day together.

Since this is the first time that Harlan has been with him for an entire day, this was pretty much the first time since being in the city that I have been away from Harlan for an extended period of time.  I really didn't know what to do with myself.  My initial thought was to clean every nick and cranny of this apartment {why do I think this way?}.  But in the back of my head I knew I would have probably made for a horrible, horrible day.  Instead, I decided to really make the best of the opportunity and take the day for myself to do all the things I haven't had a chance to do in a while.

First on my list was taking a long hot shower all by myself.  This is something I haven't done in months!  {Harlan and I have a routine of taking one in the morning together and its my way of killing two birds with one stone.} I was also able to get ready without anyone bothering me or telling me I was taking too long.  It's the little things in this day that were making me oh so happy.

After getting ready I met my sister and we did some Christmas shopping and had some lunch.  It was so relaxing.  What made the day even better was that MacKay never called once!  Not even to ask what time she needed to eat.  He handled the day perfectly.  I was the one who had to call him to check on everything.  He said that everything was going great, although it was kind of tough doing shopping with her so he opted for lunch and the playground instead.  I cannot tell you how proud I am of him.  This was such a great step in his relationship with Harlan. 

I got home this evening feeling so refreshed and ready to see my family.  I am so grateful for MacKay taking this leap and deciding to take Harlan for the day.  I really didn't know how much I needed a break until now.  I think that we, as mothers and wives, have a natural instinct to put everyone before ourselves.   We want to make sure everyone else is content before we make sure we are.  I am happy with my life that way.  But I am also happy that I can have days like this that allow me to be selfish and cater to my needs.

What would you do with a day for yourself?

Her Very Own Tree

Christmas is by far my favorite time of year.  People are filled with the holiday spirit and the decorations and lights fill my heart with joy.  Growing up my mom would fill our house with decorations.  She put a themed Christmas tree in every room.  We had wreaths hanging from every window outside and the trees were filled with lights. On Christmas Eve we would fill the streets with luminaries so that Santa could find his way around our neighborhood.  Those are the memories of this time of year that I will cherish the most.

Last year at this time Harlan was only a few months old and couldn't grasp the concept of this wonderful time of year.  We celebrated here in the city and had a small tree that we got on Christmas Eve.  Now that she is a year older and enjoys seeing all of the decorations and window displays, I wanted to do something special for her to get her into the holiday spirit.  I bought her her very own Christmas tree.

I found a cute pink metallic tree at Urban Outfitters and thought it was perfect for her.  We got lights and little ornament balls and were all set.  She carried the tree the entire way home she was so excited. 

We got home and she helped decorate the tree with me.  She was so proud so have this little piece of Christmas in her room.  

Our final product! 

I know she doesn't fully grasp this concept, but I hope that when she gets older and looks back on this time of year she remembers our special moment together. That the huge smile she has when she sees it lit up will be ingrained in her heart forever. Because I know that is in mine.

An Unappreciative Wife

MacKay has been out of town on business since Sunday morning and I have been on responsibility overload. This afternoon I took Harlan to open play so that she could climb on things and get some of her energy out and I looked at one of my friends and said, "I'm tired!"  I was too tired to even put makeup on or do my hair this morning.  I was lucky even to put on a decent outfit. Running after Harlan all day long and taking care of our two dogs is exhausting.

Through this exhaustion came many thoughts to myself of how unappreciative I am of my husband.  I know he does a lot. He goes to work, takes the dogs on a walk every morning and night, gets Harlan ready for bed, does the dishes at night, and so much more.  But I don't ever verbalize to him how much I appreciate his contributions to our family.  He really is a great husband and father, but why has it taken me this long to really and truly appreciate it and tell him?

I know that I have told him here and there all of these things, but it is when he is gone and I have all of the work to do myself that I am really shown that this family doesn't work right without him.

So I take to this blog to tell him  how much I appreciate him and how great of a father and husband he is.  Thank you, MacKay, for taking on all that you do just to make my life a little bit easier.

Good Cop, Bad Cop

Last night Harlan found a bag of yogurt melts in her diaper bag.  It was 30 minutes before dinner time and I did not want her to spoil her dinner.  (She is a VERY picky eater and I try to make her as hungry as possible before dinner so that she will actually eat.)  She brought the bag over to MacKay so that he could open it.  MacKay looked directly over at me (knowing she didn't need to eat them) and then said back to Harlan, "Go take them to mommy." 

Really, MacKay?  You want me to play the job of "mean mommy?"  I promptly told her no and took them away.  She threw a little bit of a tantrum, but quickly got over it.  She ate her entire dinner last night. (Yay!)

The entire situation made me think. Am I really the "bad cop" of the family?  I do put her down for a nap when she doesn't want to, I make her eat her veggies at lunch and dinner.  Does she really have her daddy wrapped around her little finger already?  He IS always concerned that she will be mad at him if he makes her do something she doesn't want to do. 

Now, don't get me wrong, Harlan does have a way to get what she wants.  If I give her the evil eye for doing something she doesn't want to do she will quickly run over to me and give me a kiss.   It makes my heart melt.  Will I let her do it over and over again?  Sometimes. ;)  I can't possibly play mean mommy all the time.  Harlan is just too cute to do that!

I never thought that "bad cop" would be my role.  Growing up my dad always played that role (sorry dad) so I just figured MacKay would take it over as well.  Maybe as Harlan gets older and we have another kid that will change. But for right now, it is the way it is.  And I know that later in life, Harlan will love me more for making her eat that piece of broccoli for dinner that she didn't want to eat. :)

Who plays what role in your family?

P.S. Here are some pics from our weekend.  Harlan and Hudson had some fun playing with 3D glasses (or as Harlan calls them "gabba glasses" because she thinks they look like the ones DJ Lance Rock wears)

Am I doing all I can?

I love my daughter.  More than anything in the world.  When you have a child you experience something that is unexplainable.  I have an overwhelming passion and love that surrounds me everyday.  I would do anything for my little girl and I want to do everything possible to protect her.  There were a couple things brought to light yesterday that really made me think whether I was doing the best job that I could be to protect her. 

Many of you know I am a social media junkie.  I enjoy my interactions on twitter and stay connected with old friends via facebook.  Not only are these ways for me to stay connected but they also help me stay informed.  It was brought to my attention yesterday that Amazon was selling a kindle edition of the book "The Pedophiles Guide to Love and Pleasure: A Child-Lover's Code of Conduct."  Repulsing isn't it? According to an interview with CNN the author wrote the book "to address what he considers unfair portrayals of pedophiles in the media. True pedophiles love children and would never hurt them,"   He even went as far as saying "Penetration is out. You can't do that with a child, but kissing and fondling I don't think is that big of a problem."  I will not give that man the pleasure of having his name on my site. He doesn't deserve any fame or notoriety.  What he said literally makes tears come to my eyes and makes me want to throw up.

Amazon  was promoting something that is sick and illegal.  What is even worse, was that with several attempts for many people to contact Amazon, their PR team said that they had no plans to take it down.  As a mother, this sparked an outrage inside of me.  I not longer wanted to buy anything from any companies associated with Amazon.  Why would I support a company that is putting my child and every other child in danger? 

As of recent, the book can no longer be found on Amazon's website.  I am hoping that after all of the national attention and the twitter rally against them, that they have come to their senses and make this a done deal.  Not only do they need to remove this book but they also need to come out and make a public statement.  They were made WELL aware that this book needed to be taken down, yet they took their sweet time to remove it and have yet to say a word.  That's poor PR if you ask me.  It still leaves a bad taste in my mouth and until they come out and make a statement I will not buy anything from their website.  I will get my diapers, soap, shoes, etc. elsewhere.  Sure, it's an inconvenience to me, but it was a bigger inconvenience to my daughter that this book was being sold. 

Not all of you will agree with me on this, I don't expect you to.  I'm okay with that.  But those of you who have children, take a step back and ask yourself "Am I doing all I can to protect them?"  Your answer may surprise you.

This is a lot harder than it looks

When we decided to move up here, I had all intentions of finding a job and staying a working mother.   After applying for jobs and looking into nannies, I found out I wasn't going to be making much more than I would pay my nanny.  I would be going to work just to pay someone to watch my child.  I loved teaching.  Still do. But something about not making much profit off my my job just didn't seem right.  

I have always dreamed of being a stay at home mom.  Taking the kids to play dates and the park all day, having dinner ready for my husband when he comes home, the house is immaculately clean, and the kids are clean and ready for bed.  My dreams are far from reality. 

Reality is, I struggle each day to clean the never ending pile of dishes that are in the sink (a dishwasher is a luxury in the city and we aren't that luxurious quite yet.)  I am lucky to get Harlan and I both ready and out of the door for classes or play dates on time.  And keeping the house clean?  I've learned that is virtually impossible with a toddler.  Dinner is hardly ever ready by the time MacKay gets home because I am continually trying to get Harlan to eat her dinner.  

But you want to know the greatest part about all of this?  I wouldn't trade this job for anything in the world.  I have a compassionate husband who understands that I am not the "perfect" wife.  I love spending time with Harlan.  And if that means that dishes will pile up for a while, then so be it.  

This morning I had all intentions of cleaning the house and dusting, but instead Harlan and I spent the morning play drums in a cardboard box.  To many this seems so dull and boring, but seeing the joy on Harlan's face as we were playing together is priceless to me.  

To all of you stay at home moms out there.  Give yourself a pat on the back.  You deserve it.  This job may not look all that hard from an outsiders perspective, but it has been one of the toughest jobs I've ever had.

Up, Up and Away!

When Harlan started walking, I was ecstatic, as any mother would be.  I was lucky enough to get the video and you can hear the shock, amazement, and excitement in my voice when I see her take her first steps into toddler-hood.  She caught on pretty fast and before we knew it she stopped the crawling all together and wanted to walk everywhere.  She hated being held or being in her stroller.  She had learned this new task and she wanted to conquer it.  She was Miss Independent.

She continues to form a great personality and is as independent as can be.  But along with this independence, came something that I would have never thought.  Climbing.  Call be naive, but I really only thought that boys were the ones that climbed on things.  I didn't think that my little girls that I put in pink and bow and dresses, would want to climb on top of everything! 

She has tried to manipulate almost every piece of furniture in our apartment so that she can climb on top of things.  I knew that we had to baby proof things when she became a toddler, but how can you baby proof your furniture from a climber? 

I let her walk out of our elevator to go into our apartment and instead of heading for the door, she heads straight for the stairs.  She even tried to climb out of the crib the other day! Thank goodness for all of the classes that we take, because otherwise I might be in a little bit more trouble than I already am.  She gets to climb on as many baby friendly things that the can in class.  I even try to take to her as many open plays as I can so that she can get this out of her system.

Don't get me wrong.  I love that she enjoys this stuff, it's just caught be a little off guard.  I am now in the market for some great climbing toys and play tents and tunnels for Christmas.  If you have any suggestions, please let me know.

For now I am off to get my little Tarzan from climbing into her baby's stroller.

She's a girl!

Before I even knew I was pregnant, I knew that my child would be bald.  I was bald until the age of two and MacKay was bald as well.  It really didn't bother me and it still doesn't.  I really think bald babies are really cute (I'm not partial or anything.) There are days where I wish Harlan had some hair so I could clip a bow in it, but ultimately, I really don't care. 

When Harlan was first born she would have a headband with a bow on her head all the time.  Almost every picture I have of her she has a matching bow with her outfit.  I loved flower clips (especially the big ones) and bows.  That's one of the best parts of having a girl is getting to dress her up in pretty outfits with matching bows.  I would take her out and everyone would comment on how cute she looked and how much they loved her little bow.  Most of her outfits would be ultra girly (which included a lot of pink and dresses)  Even the clothes I buy her now are somewhat girly. 

Now, I realize sometimes when babies are little it is hard to tell whether they are a boy or girl.  Especially when they have no hair.  So this is partially the reason that I dressed her the way I did.  Every once in a while people would mistake her for a boy but I just got over it.  But, ever since we have been here in the city, I must have at least one person call her a boy.  Like I said, this used to not bother me at all, but now I'm just getting annoyed.

Yesterday Harlan had on a purple outfit and one of the ladies in class asked me if she was a boy or a girl.  Lady, I don't know many moms that would dress her son up in a purple outfit (we are in NYC though, where most anything goes.) The other day the repair man came in the apartment to fix our microwave and Harlan had on some pink pajamas.  The guy kept saying that she was standing like such a big man and "he" was so handsome.  She could be wearing a bow in her hair and some people here would call her a boy.

So my question is, do I correct them or just let it go?  Usually I will try to subtly say "she does this" or "she does that" when they are calling her a him.  But sometimes people don't get it.   As I said before, it used to not bother me, but now I'm really starting to get annoyed.  So how do I fix it?

Aside from Harlan being called a boy this week, we have had a great time.  MacKay just got home today from being gone for work and I am so glad to see him.  Being home all day and night by yourself with a toddler is exhausting. Harlan was happy to see her daddy too.  She ran to meet him at the door.  First thing MacKay said was that she has gotten taller this week.   We have stayed busy this week and have had a class everyday! 

Happy weekend!!

Playing with the scaves at Gymboree.  She is obsessed with these things.



Harlan at Gymboree







Harlan likes to see how many rings she can collect.  She does this with everything.  I call her a hoarder.





At Little Maestros at Kidville (an AMAZING class btw)



She loved the hula hoops.